1. |
Sex Positive Lawyer
00:49
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I have two jobs: number one, I practice law. Number two, I jack this cock.
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2. |
Estate Sale Fleshlight
01:16
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I purchased a penis at a widow's house.
She told me that it was fashioned like her husband's penis.
She told me she had a matching vagina for it.
I told her I wanted to fuck, but she wasn't interested.
That's when she told me:
Fleshlight. Estate Sale Flashlight.
You can fuck an old woman's pussy in the palm of your hand.
Fuck a well-used pussy on demand.
You can fuck that old pussy any time you want,
it's so fucking sexual, every time you want it.
Oh my god, estate sale fleshlight?
Do you know how much that thing has been used?
It's full of cum.
And it fucking smells really bad.
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3. |
Fecal Turbulence
01:14
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I am currently shitting in such a way that it generates what I like to call "fecal turbulence."
Now, fecal turbulence is the principle by which your anus will form a vortex of turds and launch them into the toilet bowl at incredibly high speeds, so fast and so directly that you don't actually even have to flush them. It just sends them directly down into the pipes.
In fact, it's incredibly sexual, and women find it very attractive when you've mastered the art of Fecal Turbulence.
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4. |
Intimate Jazz Encounters
00:57
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Everyone wants to respect women.
Especially me, I've always respected women.
But sometimes my wife, she cheats on me.
And when she does, it's with a jazz man.
It's always with a jazz man.
It's all about jazz.
Jazz.
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5. |
Experience My Muscles
01:37
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I'm so strong, and my muscles are so large.
What are you going to do with my big strong muscles?
They're so big.
I love to work out, and lift weights.
I am constantly lifting weights, and I'm so strong and muscular.
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Töürd Böürglar Portland, Oregon
Christian feminist side project of the Oregon Symphony
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